


'Cause it's Tragic with a capital T

by RocioWrites



Category: CLAMP - Works, Tokyo Babylon, X -エックス- | X/1999
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-05
Updated: 2015-05-05
Packaged: 2018-03-29 04:48:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 750
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3882901
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RocioWrites/pseuds/RocioWrites
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It ended in hearts and minds broken beyond repair and eyes lost— it ended in senseless death.</p>
            </blockquote>





	'Cause it's Tragic with a capital T

**Author's Note:**

> Major characters death TW (canonical deaths ok?) and spoilers until X/1999, like does anyone even warn for X spoilers now??
> 
> Idk guys, I just opened a Word file and it turned into this.

Right until Hokuto met Sei-chan – and a deep mocking voice reminds her of the year of The Bet, because _she_ didn’t really meet him before that, unlike Subaru.

Anyway, right until she met him, she was sure people whether hated or loved her, there was no in between. She knew most of her classmates thought of her as an annoying bossy type of girl who never shut up (probably her family thought so too except for her twin) while the rest adored her because she was outspoken, cheerful and easygoing, always ready to help when needed.

And then there was Sei-chan. Casually, she wonders what he thought of her. More than that, she wonders if he truly was incapable of feeling or if he just suppressed his emotions. Hokuto likes to think of him as a friend, after all – which makes things weird and probably not okay at all but then she was never the kind of girl to let common sense get the best of her.

He was a friend. Who lived a lie for a whole year and seduced Subaru with happy smiles and tender touches. A friend who never convinced her of his amiability and graceless innocently friendliness.

A friend who murdered her and broke her brother irreparably. And that was that. So much for a friend, Hokuto chides herself.

However, deep down she still wants to believe Sei-chan loved Subaru. Not in a healthy way, not even in a way that could be explained and made remotely sense of. But love was love, even if twisted and destructive and God, Hokuto wanted so bad for Subaru to understand that love isn’t always selfless and he should have fought soul and body to get Sei-chan for himself. If someone could climb and tear those walls of Sei-chan down, that was kind sweet Subaru and only him.

So, after her death, that left her with so much time in her hands to _think_.

(She can’t do much more as a ghost – not when Subaru’s guilt prevents him from sensing her and Sei-chan refused to acknowledge her.)

And she can’t help herself of wondering now what Sei-chan felt for her if he felt something at all. She was a nuisance in his plan probably but she was an ally too. Weird how that worked, huh. Hokuto was there where he needed Subaru alone but she was there providing opportunities for them to be left alone. They joked and at least Sei-chan should have found her a bit amusing.

If the deep mocking voice reminds her that he put his hand through her chest, it doesn’t matter one bit to her. Because she went on her own, she decided that for herself, she knew what was waiting for her if she did. She wanted Subaru to live and find his happiness even if that was with Sei-chan at his side. She could remain in the afterlife or under that damn Sakura Tree knowing it without one ounce of regret. She could remain forever glad if Subaru and Sei-chan got settled together and happy (for the most part).

She didn’t though. Since Subaru was a prisoner of his sense of duty and obligation to find and kill the Sakurazukamori if only to avenge Hokuto’s death, his crushed heart providing no right directions to follow. And since Sei-chan had the emotional development of a brick who decided that his plan of passing the title to Subaru was greater than any point in life where he could actually live contently with her twin.

Tragic. It was Romeo-and-Juliet kind of tragic. It was a tragedy that ended in too much suffering. It ended in hearts and minds broken beyond repair and eyes lost— it ended in senseless death.

Maybe knowing what Sei-chan felt for her was unimportant but discovering if her beliefs of what he felt for Subaru were right is simply impossible.

She smiles at Sei-chan’s ghost nonetheless and he smiles back too. Polite manners oblige, she supposes. The urge to hit him and scream at him washes over her – instead of giving in, she feels tears stinging at the corner of her eyes.

So useless, all of this. The two of them. And she too. Completely useless.

Hokuto doesn’t need to hear it from Sei-chan to know Subaru is going to be next Sakurazukamori, nevermind his mental and emotional state, nevermind the clock keeps ticking and the end of the world is happening. Nevermind Subaru is a full-blown tragedy on his own.


End file.
